humps_you (humps_you) wrote,


Title: Repent
Author: me, fucking_lovatos
Summary: Gerard is a minister who has been having impure thoughts.
Rating: NC-17
Notes: It’s not my fault if this seems too rushed as I came up with the idea last night while reading a book and wrote it this morning. It was funny actually because the book I was reading actually had a character named ‘father Gerard’. Made me laugh. This story is also pretty short. Forgive me?

My eyes snap open as my alarm goes off, the bright morning light stinging them as soon as my eyelids flutter open. I take a deep breath as I push a hand through my hair, letting it out slowly, feeling my lungs burn from the amount of oxygen intake. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I stand up, stretching for a moment before heading to the bathroom.

I do this every morning, it's my routine, the same one I've had since I moved here and got my job. Get up at 5:30 am, stretch, use the toilet, shower, dress, blow dry, brush, leave for work. I don't usually find that I have any interruptions but today is different. Very different. Aside from the past three weeks I haven't felt this way for the past 13 years.

When I was 15 my father caught me looking at an inappropriate magazine. He swore then and there to change my ways, that no son of his was going to be homosexual, that he'd rather go to hell than see his good catholic son steeped in a life of sin. He sent me to a parochial boarding school the very next day. I never again entertained any unchaste thoughts. Never, that is, until very recently.

There's a young man who has started coming to the church, a waifish looking, handsome young man of about 24. I first noticed him three weeks ago during a sermon; he sat near the back by the doors. There was something different about him, something that drawed my attention to him, something I can't explain. All I knew is that I craved it, that I needed him to come back. And he did. He comes faithfully every Sunday, always sitting in the same spot in the back pew, head lowered slightly as if in deep thought.

I haven't been able to get him out of my thoughts, out of my dreams, and last night was no exception. Only last night was a bit different.

Usually I just dream about him sitting alone in the church, head lowered as he prays, I just watch from the shadows. Last night it started out the same but instead of him just quietly praying to himself as usual, he looked up at me, caught my eye, and smiled. He had the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen, and it lit something inside of me.

I shake my head as if trying to shake the unchaste thoughts from my mind. I don't understand why, after 13 years, it has to start now. It was a dream, nothing more. It means nothing, nothing at all. I take another deep breath and walk over to the shower, turning on the water before stripping down and stepping inside. I try to put my mind on normal thoughts but I just can't shake the impure ones away.

Biting my lip I take in a shaky breath and hold it, unsure of my feelings. I've been told my whole life that thoughts like these are wrong, impure and sinful. But how can something that feels so right be wrong? This is the way I was raised but I'm so tired of hiding who I am, of denying myself happiness to appease others.

I smile on that thought and shake my head, giving in to the feelings that have washed over my body. Slowly I reach a hand down to encircle my hardening member, biting down harder on my lip at the feeling of my own touch. Pushing aside the ministers thoughts of how I'm committing a sin I start moving my hand, tugging at my cock and letting my head fall forward at the pleasure.

My mind is filled with thoughts of the young man at church and I don't bother trying to push them away. My hand speeds up as I think about last nights dream, how he had stood and walked over to me, taking my hand and helping me up. He'd led me to the back of the church, to my office, smiling at me the whole way yet not saying a word. We didn't need to talk; we both understood what was about to happen between us.

He watched as I undressed, his eyes shining as he licked his lips, his hand reaching down to cup the obvious erection in his jeans. As soon as I was naked he came over to me and kissed me lightly on the lips. I could feel his smile, his happiness, and his lust, all in just that one kiss. Desperately I ran my tongue over his bottom lip, needing to taste him, wanting him more. He moaned quietly and let me in, our tongues sliding together hotly as he directed my hands to his pants...

My eyes squeezes shut tight as I continued to manipulate myself, reaching my other hand back to lightly finger my balls, remembering what had happened next in the dream. It had all been so real.

The young man had let me undress him then pulled me back to lie out on the small couch I had positioned against the wall. He'd pushed my legs apart and kneeled between them, kissing me deeply as he ran his hands across my body, feeling me out. Moving his body over mine he trailed his lips across my cheek to my jaw, kissing his way down my chest and stomach until he reached my erection.

He looked up and smiled at me before taking me into his mouth, causing me to moan loudly and arch my back forcing my cock deeper into his mouth. He gagged slightly and grasped my hips, pushing them down into the leather as he continued to work me, swirling his tongue across over heated flesh and tugging gently on my balls.

As suddenly as he started it, he stopped, pulling his mouth off me and smirking as he stood up and turned around, sitting down on my stomach with his back to me. I felt him firmly grab my cock in one hand as he raised himself up, positioning his ass over me as he lowered himself...

I gasp out I roughly swipe my thumb over the head of my cock, the pleasure building in the pit of my stomach, warmth spreading over my body as the water beats down on me from overhead. The mental image of that boy lowering himself onto me burned into my eye lids, the way he arched his back as he moved, riding me so good. I could see his muscles straining, hear his moans and pants as he bounced himself in my lap, feel the immense pleasure he was giving me and I knew I was going to cum.

Tugging on my cock one last time I feel myself let go, the cum quickly being washed away by the water as I finished myself off, panting from the feelings as I ran my tongue over my lips, imagining I could taste him.

I quickly finished my shower and rushed through the rest of my morning routine so I wouldn't be too late. I didn't care that much though as it was only Thursday, a quiet day where the ministers prayed and sat in confessional. I arrived only 30 minutes late, apologizing to the other ministers as I hurried back to my office.

Kneeling on a small cushion placed on the floor underneath a large cross I thought back to this morning and last night. Silently I prayed, repenting for my sins knowing in the back of my mind that I was not sorry. That it would happen again. A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts; I looked up to see one of the nuns standing in the frame.

"Father Gerard, you're wanted in confessional."

I nodded and stood, following her out into the main building as I made my way to the booth she pointed out to me. I closed the door behind me and sat down quietly, getting comfortable before sliding the shutter back. "You have need to repent?"

"Yes father," I choked. I knew that voice. "Lately I have been having impure thoughts."

My heart was beating and I bit my lip, closing my eyes. "Impure thoughts of what nature?" I held my breath, hoping beyond hope that the young man, the same young man I lusted after, said what I needed him to.

"I have been having thoughts about another member of the congregation. A minister to be exact. I desire him the way a man should desire a woman." I could hear the smile in his voice and I knew.

He wasn't here to repent.

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